Episode 19: Healing Living Beyond My Means (Part One) – Leadership Arts Associates

Episode 19: Healing Living Beyond My Means (Part One)


The Challenge

  • Take a look around, what surrounds you? Who surrounds you? Make a list.
  • After you make your list, question which really matter? Do the people truly matter to you? Do the objects really matter to you? On what level do they matter to you? A helpful method I use when doing this is asking, what relation do these people and objects have to bringing me joy
  • Then hold onto your list, next week we will continue in our path of discovery building on this list.

I’m a recovering addict. My addiction is excessive consumption or “living beyond my means”. I dressed it up, saying I was a foodie, fashionista and a DIY interior designer. Now I see it for what it truly is an addiction. Regardless, if it was purchasing a new designer handbag, demanding to have a vintage dining room table or selecting the perfect baked good, the feeling was the same – a strong urge of need. The feeling was so strong that I could feel it vibrate through my body almost like a high. Then after the excessive consumption occurred, I would deal with the crash of remorse. Asking myself, why? Why would I continually do this to myself when none of these acts ever really bring me any joy?  The simple answer. My addiction was driven by reacting to life. Life is a roller coaster of emotion and if we do not become conscious of it, we truly are just along for the ride. If we choose to ride aimlessly it is guaranteed to be yes, enjoyable at times, but also just plain scary at times too. In this scenario, my reactive behavior was being driven by fear. Being so afraid of life and what comes next, that immediate gratification felt necessary to have something to hold on to. Because at the end of the day, what really matters? Do we really matter? Does that handbag, table or cookie really matter? In some weird way, I had convinced myself that if the material items mattered that they somehow increased the likelihood that I mattered. In this three part series, I’d like to explore the discovery process to what truly matters. Because when it comes to a fear driven life, a shift in perspective is the only miracle we need. So let’s get started…

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