Music Makes Me Nice

Picture of a woman jumping in from of a wall with graffiti art

This morning I was reading a Parenting Magazine while sipping my coffee and an article with a featured image of a father and infant daughter dancing caught my eye, it was titled, “Keep them Healthy and Happy — move to the music!” The article quotes research by McMaster University in Canada, where they found that “14-month-olds were more likely to help someone — by picking up a dropped object and handing it back — after dancing in sync to music with that person.” The article then continues saying, “this suggests that dancing, or even singing, clapping, and bouncing in time to music, helps young children to form social bonds” (source).

Now you may be asking yourself, what in the world does this have to do with my business or even the OD field. Well if you have worked with me in the past you would already know that I love using child interaction case studies, because children are not yet compromised by all of the junk of life that we inherit while growing up. In most scenarios, the explanation is simple, such as here, a social bond is formed and therefore I’m nice to you.

So now think about the work environment, how many opportunities are there to form social bonds? What do these opportunities look like? Is it having a genuine conversation with a co-worker about their two-week vacation to Mexico? Or is it saying yes to join that volunteer committee to plan the upcoming department holiday party? Perhaps it is just attending and participating in the upcoming holiday party?

Now what about when these social bonds are formed, what would you see? Maybe that individual holding the elevator for you. Maybe it’s not the elevator just the door. Or maybe, if you are clumsy like me, a helping hand when you drop a large pile of paperwork in the parking lot (not so different from the 14-month old).

It doesn’t mean we are big babies, it mean the basic social interaction needed for relationships is just that, basic. Not rocket science.

I remember a few months back I was sitting in on a team focus group listening as participants raised more concerns than providing suggestions. At one point the discussion went down the path of needing team building. However, the team building result they were seeking was essentially co-worker accountability. They wanted their teams to call each other out. They wanted training on how to make their people do this or even want to do this. This is the point where I decided to chime in, after it struck an internal nerve.

I explained to the group, how do you expect your teams to provide feedback on work related issues when they won’t even provide feedback on if they like or dislike someone’s sweater. More importantly, how do you expect them to talk to each if they currently don’t even say hello to one another.

The solution is not always super complicated, sometimes I think we don’t want to admit that it is that simple. Workplace civility is a hot topic right now. There are lots of fancy definitions but if you dumb it down, it’s being nice or respectful to one another. This study proved one way to make 14-month-olds nice or civil to another individual.

If you like, take the study literally and begin forming social bonds in your organization by hosting a dance break or karaoke luncheon. Or just look at the underlying message, create opportunities for social bonds to form in your organization. That’s step one, on a way to a more civil work environment.

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